Shelter My Heart
by Jdifrans1
Summary: Football games, cheerleaders, falling leaves, and leggings…Autumn is Edward's favorite time of year, and the only time he's not sitting home Friday nights. When his star football player brother hatches a plan to get him acquainted with the opposite sex, will Edward be in for the worst fall of his life? ***Written for the Falling into Autumn Contest - Host Mariahajile's pick! ***
1. Chapter 1

**Hi!**

 **Thank you, Lovelybrutal for convincing me to write when you were suppose to talk me out of it! Thank you for helping me shave the extra words and fixing all my commas. I love working with you!**

 **Huge thanks to RTP4ME who helped me remember what it's like to be 18 and is always there to encourage me to write more.**

 **And last but never least, thank you Ipsita for prereading and always having my back.**

 **I love you girls!**

 **Everyone at the Falling into Autumn contest did an amazing job posting inspiration. Thank you so much for all your hard work and for including my entry.**

 **Thank you Iris for choosing this as host's pick! I'm truly honored and thrilled that you like my story. THANK YOU!**

 **There's at least a couple more chapters left for these two.**

 **Disclaimer** : The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended. All mistakes are mine.

Shelter My Heart

The cold morning air sends a chill down my spine as I step outside. Emmett takes a deep breath through his nose and smiles over his shoulder at me. "You smell that, bro?"

"Smell what?" I ask as I fold my arms in an effort to keep warm.

"It smells like dead leaves and dirt. My favorite time of year." He takes a deeper whiff of the air and keeps talking with a stupid grin on his face. "Football games, cheerleaders, and leggings...it doesn't get any better."

It's my favorite time of year too, but I'm not admitting to myself or him that we agree on anything. The beginning of fall means all my band practice over the summer will finally pay off as I secure my spot as lead tuba this year in the marching band. Instead of sitting at home bored on Friday nights, I'll be at the game. Mom will be happier since everything is pumpkin flavored and if Mom's happy, Dad's happy. Emmett will find a cheerleader to date for the season and he'll be too busy to harass me. He's right about the leggings though. All those girls in skin-tight, sometimes see-through pants make school a lot more appealing.

I push my glasses up and climb in the back of Emmett's Jeep, knowing better than to dare sit in the front seat. That's saved for whatever girl he's dating this week.

"Dude, why are you sitting back there? Do I look like a fucking chauffeur?"

I untangle my leg from the seat belt and sit back. "No. Aren't you picking up Rosalie?"

"Rose?" Emmett shakes his head and starts the Jeep. "Nah, man. We've been over. She's with some guy named Royce now. Have you been living under a rock?"

"I spent a lot of time volunteering at the animal shelter over the summer. Dad's been taking me to school early for robotics team and then I stay after for band and take the activity bus. I guess I haven't been around much." I climb over the seat and buckle myself.

"Still only giving the tuba action, huh? No girl _or guy_ in your life?"

"I like girls, Emmett." I clarify. "I just haven't met anyone." I feel the heat rise in my cheeks as I lie, so I look out the window before he can notice. It's a good excuse, letting him think I'm picky about who I'll date. It isn't easy being the little brother to Mr. Popular star football player who can get whoever he wants. Me being an awkwardly tall, skinny, robot building band geek doesn't help. I love who I am but I'm not into the kind of things that get you a girlfriend like football.

There are plenty of girls I've had crushes on. Angela Weber in my AP Chem class is really smart and has these perfectly long legs I dream about being wrapped around my waist. Jessica Stanley is hot and every guy knows it, and according to Mike Newton gives the best blow job of any girl at Forks High. He also says it's also the only time she shuts up.

Of course I want a girlfriend to hang out and fool around with but I know it's not going to happen. Especially not with who I dream of every night - Isabella Swan, the police chief's daughter who moved back to Forks when her mom got remarried.

She's only been at school since the year started, but we have a bunch of classes together and she's not only smarter than me, she's gorgeous. Isabella makes school look easy. She's that kind of intelligent but she's not cocky about it. I got stuck on a calc problem and she stopped what she was doing to help me figure out where I went wrong during study hall the other day. No one else would have bothered with me, but she did.

I could watch her take notes and play with her long brown hair for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy. I'm ashamed of how often I space out watching her. She leaned over the other day and I could see her navy blue thong underwear where her pants gapped at her waist and I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning out loud. Now it's all I can think about. She seems so sweet and innocent, so then why is she wearing those panties? Aren't those the kind of things girls who sleep with my brother wear? And now in my mind she's not only this smart, sweet girl - she's living, walking, talking sex personified. I watch her chew on her pen cap and envision her mouth on me. I'm a horrible person for objectifying her this way and I know it. But I can't stop.

"I'll find you a chick. We're seniors, bro. You can't be going off to college without playing hide the salami at least once," he says as though he's personally offended. "It ain't right."

I turn to face him in a panic. "Really, Emmett. I'm fine. Please don't help. Please." I beg him but try not to sound overly pathetic. He's like a predator in that he'll smell my weakness and attack.

"Calm down. I have practice after school too. I can ride you home and we'll talk about this some more." He pats my shoulder and sounds sincere as he says, "You think up the perfect girl and I'll help you get her."

"I'm fine. Really," I say and he shrugs, as though my opinion doesn't matter.

We drive the rest of the way to school in silence except for the radio blaring rap music I'm not familiar with. Once he parks, I hurry to class before all the other players gather around him and I have to socialize with them.

The day goes by in a blur of nervous anticipation and obsessing over Isabella. She's wearing a short skirt with socks that go over her knees and tall leather boots. I swear between Emmett and her I'm going to go bald from pulling my hair out.

Band practice feels like it's over as soon as it started as I try to find an excuse to ride the bus. It doesn't work. Emmett finds me and insists I meet him at the Jeep in five minutes.

"Dude, you gotta sit in the back. I figured it'd be easier to _show_ you how to talk to a girl, than just _tell_ you. You know?" He winks and runs back toward the school.

I hope he didn't ask some random girl to go on a date with me. Not only do I not have a clue what to do, but it wouldn't be fair to them for me to be thinking of another girl. I'm nothing like my brother who we all know loves Rose but sleeps around when they break up, which happens at least once a month.

I grab my backpack, my tuba, and against my better judgment walk to the Jeep. My foot gets stuck in the belt again and I'm still bent over untangling it when I hear her voice.

"Thanks again for the ride. I needed that extra time at the library to work on my paper. Have you started yours?" Bella asks like she's expecting to have a conversation about research papers. Clearly she doesn't know my brother at all.

"Don't mention it. I'm glad to help." He opens the passenger door for her and helps her get in. "English isn't my best subject."

"Oh! Hi, Edward." She smiles at me and I move my mouth but no words come out, only undecipherable noises leave my lips.

Emmett climbs in and looks back at me with a look on his face like _what the hell is wrong with you_. He shakes it off, starts the Jeep, and turns his focus back to Bella.

"Don't mind him. Anyhow, no. I haven't started yet. I'm not sure how to really." He's playing coy and trying to get her to feel bad for him. How pathetic.

"I can help if you want. It's not like I have much of a social life or anything." She twirls a piece of her hair around her finger and looks straight ahead, like she's embarrassed for admitting she has no friends.

"Seriously? I'd love the help and you're coming with me to Newton's party Friday after the game." He looks over at her and smiles his big dimple showing grin. "We'll have a blast and I'll introduce you to the fun crowd. Not the weirdos like my brother in all your smart classes." He keeps smiling and she lets out a nervous laugh.

He doesn't understand that she's probably always been one of the smartest people in her class and not into the partying moronic football player crowd.

"Are you two twins?" she asks Emmett, while she continues to nervously play with her hair. It's the same question everyone has. It's only because we're in the same grade though, we look and act nothing alike. Emmett is a little bit shorter than me with a very muscular build and dark curly hair.

"Fuck no. I'm two years older, but with the way our birthdays fall and him", he points to me over his shoulder, "being gifted, we ended up in the same grade."

"I skipped first grade and he still hates me for it," I say just loud enough for her to hear without stumbling over my words like I usually do when I'm nervous.

"Dude, I never hated you because you skipped a grade." He rolls his eyes for Bella to see and tries to make me look like the overly-sensitive kid brother. The truth is Emmett was held back a year. My parents worried it would upset him if we were in the same grade so they made up some story about me being gifted and skipping a grade.

I try to ignore them both and look out the window and hope she is smart enough to not fall for his crap. My stomach rolls at the thought of them being together and I break out in a sweat. I hope she ditches him Friday night and doesn't date him. I can't sit by and watch him use her. Why her? He could have chosen anyone else...anyone but her.

"I have an idea! How about dinner at our place, Bella? We can get some studying in and my mom is an amazing cook." He wags his eyebrows at her and smiles, to which she giggles and nods her head yes.

"That sounds nice. I'll just text my dad to let him know I'll be late. Are you sure your mom won't mind?" She asks him but looks back at me like she's making sure he isn't lying.

"Of course not. Mom always cooks a ton."

 _She cooks a lot because you eat enough for five people and she has nothing else to do_ , I think to myself but don't say anything. God, it's painful listening to them chit-chat. There's no way I can watch them eat dinner. I grab my phone and send a text to the shelter, asking if I could put in an extra shift this evening. I'd much rather walk dogs than watch one put the moves on Bella.

The second my phone chimes with Carmen's text of _**Of Course :)**_ , I speak up. "Hey Emmett, can you please drop me off at the shelter? They just sent me a text that they could use me early tonight."

"Do you mean The Denali Rescue?" Bella asks as she turns to look at me and I nod. "I was hoping to volunteer there for my community service project for History class."

"You can come in and fill out an application. They only do a little interview and make sure they have room for you." I clear my throat and push my glasses back up my nose. "Most people wait until the very end of the year so there should still be plenty of space now."

"That's great! Would it be okay if I went in, Emmett?" She asks him sweetly and I nearly puke. It's like they're a couple already.

"Sure thing!" I can hear his fake excitement and I'm sure she can too.

Emmett loves his dog, but says the shelter is the most depressing place on earth and if he isn't allowed to take them all home, he isn't going there at all. I get his point, but choose to look at it as doing what I can to make their time there better and hopefully learn each animal's personality well enough to help them get adopted.

He stays in the Jeep and uses calling Mom as an excuse to not come in with us when we get to the shelter. The dogs start jumping and barking when they see me, clearly excited. Bella stops and says hello to each one but drops to her knees in front of Blue's cage. He's part German Shepherd and part Pitbull, only one of his ears stands up, he has one brown and one crystal blue eye. He's almost cartoonish and completely adorable. I leave Bella with him and go check in with Carmen. She knows I have no intention of leaving once my hours are done but told me to keep track anyway. I tell her I'm taking Blue out for a walk and she warns me that he's awfully smart and has been trying to escape. I can't say I blame him. While everyone here tries their best to make the animals happy, it just isn't the same as a home.

I get him on his leash and direct Bella on where to sign up. I lead him outside and wave to my brother. I know it's impolite and that I should show her around and wait for her, but I can't. Being near her and seeing what an amazing, kind-hearted person she is only makes me want her more. And I know can't have her. Blue and I both turn when we hear the front door shut and she waves goodbye as she walks to the Jeep.

Blue whines and tilts his head to the side. I can't help but laugh, even he can't seem to figure out what she sees in my brother. "I know, buddy. But hopefully she'll be back soon to play with you. Or maybe we'll find you your person." He leans against my leg, nudges my hand for me to pet him, and gives me a look as if to say I _am_ his person.

"I wish it was that simple, Blue. But you have a good chance at finding someone. It wouldn't be fair for me to take you and not the rest." He gives me a low grumble and we continue on our way. Maybe if I spoke to Bella's dad, he'd be okay with her having a dog, though. He could protect her when Chief Swan was working and he'd keep her company.

I take Blue out in the large play area and let him loose to chase leaves. He runs and pounces on them before shredding them apart. Pretty soon he'll be chasing snowballs, but hopefully it will be with his new owner, though I'll miss him and his energy.

I clean kennels and make sure everyone has been played with before calling Dad for a ride home.

"I've been thinking, why don't you get your permit? That way you can be getting your practice hours logged rather than me just driving you everywhere."

"Okay. I'll start studying." I look over at him as he drives and try to see if he looks mad about having to pick me up. "I thought you and mom were worried about the insurance bill."

"That's very mature of you, son, to put the family's needs first." He reaches over and pats my shoulder as he explains, "but with the likelihood of you and your brother getting scholarships for college and my promotion, we'll be fine."

"Promotion?" Maybe Emmett was right and I have been living under a rock.

"You're looking at the new Chief of Staff of Forks Hospital," he says with a smile as he straightens his tie.

"Wow, Dad. Congratulations! That's awesome." I couldn't be happier for him. I'm sure this will mean more time at work, but he loves what he does and the people he works with.

"Thank you, Edward. In other news, your brother asked to go out Friday after the game and your mother and I decided that you should go with him. Get out of the house and you know," he clears his throat and gestures toward me with his hand, "make sure he doesn't do anything too stupid."

I almost say a hundred different things but stop myself. Pulling my glasses off, I rub my nose, take a deep breath, and try to stay calm. He doesn't know what he's asking. He has no idea I'll have to go watch my brother hang all over the girl I dream about. Maybe it's for the best. At least if he gets drunk and passes out, she won't be all alone with his idiot friends. With a sigh, I put my glasses back on and agree to go. Dad knew I'd never tell him no before he asked.

"Great," Dad says with a nod and I turn to look out the window, praying that Bella's already left the house.

Pulling my shirt up over my nose, I make sure I don't smell as gross as I feel. Sure I'm not as sweaty as Emmett, but being in my band uniform all night makes me want a shower. My hair is unfixable from being under the hat. It's standing up in all different directions and there's no way to tame it. I run my fingers through it a couple times to get rid of the weird lines on the sides and give up.

I climb in the back of the Jeep, thankful that Emmett nevers bothers to lock it, and curse as the seat belt catches my foot again. It's been three weeks since the first time I had to tag along with Emmett to a party. I'd rather be anywhere else, but my parents insist it's what's best for us both. I take a bottle of water with me and make sure I eat at school so I can't be tricked into trying "special" brownies or drinking spiked punch. It's bullshit, but thankfully the season doesn't last forever and soon enough, I'll be home every Friday missing the cold hard bleachers and ache in my shoulder from holding a tuba all night. I'll miss our house smelling like pumpkin pie and the red and yellow mums that line the sides of our front stairs. But mostly, I'll miss watching Bella.

She sits by the band to watch every football game, even the away ones. She yells and carries on with the other fans and always blushes when Emmett blows her a kiss. It's cute, sickening, and completely unlike my brother. He doesn't grab her ass or treat her like a plaything like he always did with other girls. If anything he seems kind of distant, but they are always together. And it hasn't gotten any easier to watch. It's worse. Watching her be so patient with him doing homework and support him at every game feels like a jab to my heart, like a sliver of it is being cut off and burned while I'm forced to watch. It's torture.

A torture I know I'm going to miss when everyone is getting ready for the holidays and I'm hiding at the shelter. At least I feel appreciated there and not looked down at for being boring.

"Hi, Edward. You got here quick. In a hurry?" Bella asks with the sweetest smile as she glances back at me between the seats, looking adorable all bundled up in a hat and scarf.

I wave and say, "No hurry. I didn't want to hold you guys up."

Her smile fades and she seems to be studying me. "You'd rather be at home, huh? I'm the same way, but it's easier to keep everyone happy and do what we're supposed to, you know?" She sounds so defeated it hurts.

"Yeah. I'm sure Emmett wouldn't mind hanging out at home with you if you asked him."

She half smiles and nods. "Maybe. But I don't think he'd be too happy about it."

"Sorry I'm late!" Emmett yells as he jumps in the front seat and leans over to kiss Bella on the cheek. He cranks up the music and chirps the tires through the parking lot. God, I wish I could just go home.

I lag behind as Emmett and Bella walk into Newton's house hand-in-hand to a screaming group of teens and thumping music. Once the door closes behind them I head to the side of the house where his big furry Golden Retriever is tied up. I dust off the plastic milk crate I sat on last week and am greeted by a very slobbery chin on my lap. "Looks like it's just me and you again," I say as I scratch behind his ears.

Eventually, I wander into the house to use the bathroom and do as my parents asked and check on my brother. He's talking to a group of guys as Bella stands off to his side and watches. She's clearly uncomfortable. I should probably go talk to her but I think that might be too weird.

I use the bathroom and as I'm walking down the hall to go back outside I hear a female voice yelling "Stop". I tiptoe to the door and listen to see if they are joking around and I realize it's Rosalie.

"Royce, stop being such an asshole. I'm not…" she says and he quickly interrupts.

"You'll do as I say or I'll smack that slutty lipstick right off your pretty little mouth." He sounds drunk and I have no doubt he'll get physical so I do the only thing I can think of. I get Emmett from the kitchen where he's rehashing the sack he made with the team.

"It's Rosalie. I think she's in trouble."

He follows me without hesitation down the hallway with most of the football team hot on his trail.

Without even a warning knock, he opens the door and grabs Royce by the throat. Emmett shoves him against the wall and explains that if he ever so much as looks in her direction again, he'll kill him.

Royce slinks out of the room red-faced and embarrassed. He shoves his way through the crowd mumbling about her being a stupid whore as the team elbows and shoves him, making sure he leaves and doesn't try to come back.

"Are you okay, Rosie? Did he hurt you?" Emmett is holding Rose in his arms and kissing the top of her head as she clings to him and cries.

"It's okay, baby. I got you. I'm not going anywhere." He says in the kindest, most loving voice I've ever heard my brother use.

In true Rosalie fashion, she pulls back and asks in a demanding mean tone through her sobbing,"What about that girl you're with, huh?" She doesn't give him a chance to answer and keeps drilling him through her mascara-black tears. "You're going to leave me and take her home, aren't you? Hell, you'll probably stop for a quick fuck, right?"

He stays calm and pulls her back against his chest. "She's nothing to me, babe. We were just hanging out and she was helping me with my English paper."

With a sniffle she leans against him and says, "It looked like more than that to me. Did you fuck her?"

"No! I swear! We kissed but that's it." She pulls back far enough to see his face and raises her eyebrow at him. "It was like kissing my mom! I love you, Rosie. No one else," he explains and dips his head to kiss her lips.

I shut the door to give them some privacy and realize Bella is right behind me. She just witnessed the same interaction I did. With slumped shoulders, she nervously bites at her bottom lip and twirls a piece of her hair as she avoids looking directly into my eyes. Shit.

"Come with me outside?" I ask and offer her my hand. She seems unsure but loosely holds onto me as I lead her to the back door and around to the milk crate. I wish I could offer her a ride home or somewhere else to be but this is the best I can think of right now.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that," I say honestly and hope she doesn't hate me for what my brother did.

She shrugs her shoulders and bends down to pet Mike's dog. "I knew he still had a thing for her and it's not like I'm in love or anything, but it still stung to see him hold her like that and say those things, you know?" She asks and looks up at me still beautiful as ever but so sad.

If she only understood how well I know that feeling. That burn like shoving a red hot branding iron into my heart. I nod and toe the ground, unsure of what to say to make things better for her.

"Honestly, you were always way too good for him. He's an idiot and a user and you deserve someone who appreciates your intelligence and kindness and beauty." I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as I talk to her but it doesn't stop me from telling her how special she is. "Someone who can kiss you with so much passion they leave you breathless. Not some idiot hung up on his ex."

She looks at me like she's looking for something deeper, something more in my words, as if she knows I mean myself but am too much of a chicken-shit to say it. Dusting her hands on her jeans, she stands up and says, "Thank you, Edward. That's very sweet of you." She smiles but I can still see the hurt in her eyes.

"Your house is pretty close. Do you want me to walk you home so you can get out of here?" I ask, annoyed that I didn't think of it sooner.

"Oh, that would be great. I just need to get my coat and stuff." She looks at the door but makes no move to go in.

"Hey, I'll go get it, be back in a minute." I head inside and text Emmett that I'm taking Bella home and not to worry about me. I find her stuff and am thankful that no one cares enough to ask what I'm doing. The last thing Bella needs is to be dragged into high school drama.

I hurry back to her and we start walking as she bundles up. "I knew it would be a lot different here than in Arizona but I had no idea how much I would hate the cold. This sucks."

"Yeah. It isn't even cold yet. You might need to hibernate come winter." I say jokingly. I'm wearing a hoodie but it definitely isn't cold yet, only a little chilly.

She zips her coat up and laughs. "I might! Hibernating sounds pretty good right now. Some creepy movies, hot cocoa, and tons of blankets.".

"Count me in if that's hibernating," I say, not expecting to ever be invited to join her.

Leaves crunch under our feet with every step, so loudly we have to raise our voices to talk, and end up not saying too much. She walks a little closer to me though each time we pass a house that's decorated for Halloween. Old Mrs. Smith puts out a seven foot tall grim reaper with a scythe and all, every year. Bella catches sight of it, grabs my elbow and makes me cross the street, hiding behind me as we pass it.

"It's fake. I swear it's been there for at least the ten years I've lived in Forks," I say to ease her fears. Though I don't want her to ever stop holding onto my arm.

"I thought you had lived here forever. Where were you born?" She asks, with genuine interest.

"New England. We moved when I was in first grade," I answer and hope her questions about it stop.

"That's really far away. Like the other side of the country far. At least you were used to the cold, unlike me." She nudges me with her shoulder and continues, "Was it for your dad's work or something?"

I push my glasses up and then shove my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie, trying to stall. "Yeah, you could say that."

Another way would be to say that we were chased out of where we were and had to move across the country so he could get a job, but she doesn't need to know that. I don't need that judgment tainting her view of my family even if she isn't around after tonight. She was only at our house because of Emmett. It's not like she'll have a reason to be there now.

"Tell me about Arizona. Maybe talking about the hot desert will warm you up," I say to change the subject.

We make it to her place in about twenty minutes and I now know all about where she grew up. She runs to the door in a hurry to get inside and I can't help but feel disappointed as I wait to make sure she gets in, that she didn't even say goodbye. Maybe I just read our short time together all wrong.

She unlocks the door and looks around herself and then out at the street to me. Waving me forward with her hand, she yells, "What are you doing? It's cold. Get in here!"

In a state of total confusion I walk up to her door and she reaches out to pull me in.

"Hibernating, remember?" She walks into the kitchen and sets two coffee cups on the counter and starts rifling through the shelves in search of cocoa mix.

I'm still standing at the doorway wiping the condensation off my glasses when she looks over to me. "I'm sorry. I assumed…" She shakes her head and smiles like she's embarrassed. "Go ahead. I'm sure you have somewhere to be. Thank you for everything tonight. You are a true gentleman, Edward." Taking one of the cups in her hand, she opens the cabinet to put it back and I hurry over to stop her.

"I'll stay. Please may I stay?" I ask with my hand on hers and hope like hell she says yes.

"I'd _really_ like it if you did," she says and squeezes my hand. I feel like there's something between us, a chemistry, an attraction, but earlier tonight she was my brother's girlfriend and I can't forget that. Something about this feels so wrong. I know he wouldn't care, but that doesn't make it right, does it?

I put my hand in my pocket and ask how I can help.

"You can find something to watch. I have no idea how the dvd player works and the remote freaks me out. Mom and I never had more than bunny ears," she says with a nervous laugh.

"Sure thing. Do you want like Disney creepy or The Conjuring creepy?"

"The Conjuring is fucking terrifying, not creepy." She says and looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Disney it is." I say and head to the living room to find the dreaded remote.

We decide on Zombieland. Bella pulls the blanket over her eyes every time there is a zombie on screen and I laugh. I always thought it was a comedy, but in her world, it's horror.

"Aren't you hot under all those blankets?" I ask. She ran upstairs and changed into leggings and a sweatshirt before the movie started which should be more than enough, and I swear there has to be four blankets on the couch.

She swings her feet out from under herself, wiggles her toes under my legs, and reaches over to wrap her hands around my forearm. My arm flinches from the cold and I'm stunned. "How are you still so cold? It shouldn't be possible."

"I don't know. How the hell are you so hot? You're in a t-shirt for God's sake!" She moves closer to me and holds on tighter. Her sweatshirt is huge on her and from where I'm sitting and the way she's leaning, I can see her navy lace bra that just barely covers her nipples and as hard as I try to look away, I can't.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to flash you," she giggles without a trace of embarrassment and pushes her sweatshirt against her chest.

"Don't be sorry," I say too quickly and immediately regret it. "I didn't mean it that way!" I bow my head to avoid her eyes. She's still laughing and clearly not offended because she's rubbing my shoulder as if to say it's okay.

The more she touches me, the less I can control my body's reaction to her. I'm getting harder by the second and have no idea how to hide it. I can't just adjust myself, she's right next to me. I clear my throat and try thinking about baseball but she wiggles her toes under my thigh again and I nearly moan out loud.

"Here," she says as she grabs a blanket and covers both of us. "You're getting all goose bumpy. Am I making you cold?" She asks with half a smile as she bites her bottom lip.

I watch her reaction to make sure I'm not taking this the wrong way as I reach out with my free hand and just barely rub her legging-covered calf. "They're not from the cold, but they're definitely from you."

She seems to watch her hand as she runs her fingers through my hair and I watch as her cheeks start to blush like mine are. It feels so amazing, I sigh and lean into her hand. Pulling her feet out from under me, she kneels with her knees against my thigh and places my hand on her waist. I swallow and she must sense how nervous I am.

"Is this okay?" she asks and gives me a huge smile as I nod.

"Good."

With her index finger she pushes my glasses back in place and then places her hand on my jaw. I close my eyes as she leans forward to kiss me and I swear my heart stops the second her lips touch mine. She's so soft and gentle, slowing taking my bottom lip between hers and then my top. I kiss her back with the same care and part my lips ever so slightly. Her tongue touches mine for the briefest moment and I immediately crave more. Holding her hip tighter, I lean into her and move my other hand under her hair to touch her slender neck.

She fists my shirt and holds me to her as she kisses me harder, and pulls my lip playfully between her teeth. I tilt my head to kiss the corner of her mouth, under her jaw and down her neck until I reach her collar bone. Leaning into my hand, she offers her neck to me and pulls at the back of my hair. Her skin tastes like heaven as I kiss every inch. I nibble and lick my way back to her mouth and kiss her until she pulls back.

"This is way too soon, way too fast," she says in a rush, looking determined and straddles my lap. "But I've wanted to kiss you for what feels like forever."

I place my hands on her thighs, unsure of where to touch her and try to make sense of what she just said, but I can the feel her legs spread over me and if she tilts her hips forward she'll feel exactly how much I want her, making it impossible to focus. And she's kissing my neck, sucking so hard under the collar of my shirt, it's bound to leave a mark. I want her to mark me. I'll need the proof tomorrow that this wasn't all a dream.

"Wait." I say, and she stops to look at me. "You what?"

She sits back and, for the first time tonight, looks shy. "I'll start at the beginning. I've had a crush on you since the first day of school, but I heard you don't date so I didn't act on it at alI. I thought Emmett was just really friendly and never got a _romantic_ vibe from him, so when he asked me over for dinner I said yes thinking you would be there. And that I could get to know you better and see if you were single."

"What?" I must have slipped into an alternate reality or something because this girl is making no sense but is completely serious.

"I know. You must think I'm such a user, but we were never really dating or anything." She fidgets with the sleeves of her sweatshirt and talks faster and faster. "I thought him and I were just friends and I hoped something would spark between me and you, but you seemed to avoid me and then being as Em was the only friend I really had...I got stuck being his not girlfriend, girlfriend."

"You've had a crush on me and someone told you I don't date?" I ask to clarify.

She nods. "I tried to get information out of your brother but he laughed and said you'd die a virgin, which I thought was really mean and completely ridiculous."

"Um...Well it's true that I've never had a date, but not by choice." Ducking my head, I look at my thumb as I rub circles on her legs, unable to admit my virginity to her face. "And the rest isn't a lie if I were to die anytime soon."

With gentle yet insistent hands she tilts my face to make me look at her. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, it makes you even sexier to me."

"It does?" I must have hit my head. There's no way this is happening.

Without saying a word, she keeps her hands on either side of my face and leans forward to kiss me. It's demanding, raw, and I pour myself into it. Knowing I'm not just who was around, but that I'm who she's wanted just like I've wanted her, changes everything.

"I've wanted you, too. So bad." A little high pitched moan is her reply as she moves her hips to line up with mine and grinds against me. I raise mine to meet hers and move my hands to the back of her thighs to pull her closer.

We kiss as she moves against me and I try to control myself. I don't want to assume anything and wait for her to show me instead.

Leaning back, she pulls her sweatshirt over her head but doesn't stop the grinding of her hips. It's the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Her lace-covered boobs bounce with her every movement and I'm mesmerized.

Warm kisses cover my ear and she whispers, "Touch me," like it pains her to not have my hands on her flesh.

I palm her breast with one hand and her ass with my other and almost die. Everything about her is incredible, the hardness of her nipples, the roundness of her ass. Perfection.

I slip my hand under the band of her pants, pushing her on myself and help her find the friction she needs.

Her breathing speeds up and I swear it sounds like she's going to come the way she's whimpering. If it weren't for my zipper and boxers nearly rubbing me raw, I'd have already lost it. Damn, am I glad I haven't.

I kiss her neck and smile as she leans back and pulls the cups of her bra down. Licking and sucking her nipples makes me even harder and I thrust into her, wincing against the pain and loving every second of it. Her chest blooms in a perfect pink blush as she cries out and reaches her peak.

I don't stop kissing her chest but I move her hips off me enough to get some relief. She reaches between us and rubs my hardness through my jeans and I can't help but pull back.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asks, her face full of worry.

"No! No, it's just the zipper." I say and adjust myself. She watches me and with steady fingers undoes my button and unzips my jeans. She stands up to pull them past my knees and then straddles me again.

There's a wet mark on my boxers from pre-cum and as humiliating as it is for me, I think she's proud of herself from the way she smiles. Reaching her hand into my boxers, she pulls me out, wraps her fingers around, and starts slowly pumping me up and down. Not finding much lubrication, she pauses to lick her palm and starts again.

Both of us are watching as her hands move over me and I want this to last but I'm afraid I can't. It's too perfect. Her warm soft hands are surrounding me and giving just the right squeeze...it's too much. I start to panic realizing any second I'm going to come and I don't want it to be all over her or her couch.

I get impossibly harder, my toes curl, and I watch in awe as Bella moves one of her hands over the head. We watch as I come into her waiting hand and I realize this is the best moment of my life. She kisses my cheek as I sit, too weak in the knees to stand, and goes into the bathroom to wash her hands.

I tuck myself into my boxers and try to slow my breathing down to not look so pathetic, but it's impossible. There's no way I can calm down from this.

Walking back into the room, she looks at me bashfully, but doesn't fix her bra or pull her shirt on.

"Come here," I say and place my hands at her waistband.

"Is this okay?" I ask as I pull her pants down. She nods yes, hooks her thumbs into her thong and pulls it down as well.

"You have to show me," I say and graze between her legs with my fingers. I want us to watch me pleasure her like she did for me. I need to give her that back.

She sits back against the arm of the couch and lifts one leg up to rest against the back, opening herself to me. Her hand takes mine and she places my thumb on her delicate cluster of nerves and has me put my middle two fingers inside her. She's so wet I can hear it as well as feel it as I move my fingers in and out and get hard again at the thought of my dick inside her.

I try to remember the rhythm she used when she moved against me but I can't. I'm lost at the sight of her spread in front of me. We're both watching my hand and in what feels like only minutes she begins moving her hips and fisting the cushions.

"Faster. Move a little faster," she begs, breathless and needy. Her thighs tighten around my hand, but I do as she asked and circle my thumb quicker while pumping my fingers faster. She trails one hand up her neck and squeezes her breasts with her other and sighs as she orgasms.

She smiles up at me like the sun rises at my command and I'm in heaven. To think I could make her feel so good is more than I could ever hope for.

I debate licking my fingers. I want to. God, I want to, but it might be too much. I want to taste her and bury myself in her with abandon but I know we should wait. Tonight was already more than enough.

"Edward, I really don't think it's appropriate for you to be seeing your brother's ex-girlfriend. I mean they were a couple on Friday. It's only Sunday." Dad tells me after I explain he's off the hook and that Bella will take me to school and that we'll go to the shelter to volunteer together afterwards.

I keep my tone respectful and explain, "I understand your concern. But Emmett and Bella were just good friends and he's back with Rosalie."

"Oh for Christ's sake, again?" He asks and looks so mad I almost feel bad for Emmett. Almost.

"Yeah. I think they both mean it this time, though." I turn to head back to my room but he stops me by grabbing my arm.

Looking at me man to man, he says, "I don't know how things could be so serious in only a day, but you better treat her well and respect her. Use protection, no means no, and all that. Alright?"

"I promise, Dad." I say sincerely and mean it. Of course I will treat her well and respect her. There's no other way I could think of being with her.

He nods sternly and says,"Good. I'm too young and handsome to be a grandfather."

We both chuckle and I make a break for it as soon as I can. I text Bella that my parents know and are fine with it. It's not like their opinion could keep us apart, but I don't ever want to hide my feelings for her from anyone.

The next morning, we walk into school hand in hand and as I expected, no one even gives us a sideways glance. Thankfully, Rose is so happy to be with Emmett she doesn't start any drama with her friends and it's a normal day except I'm a thousand times happier than ever before. For the first time, I'm not alone. I have someone by my side. We talk in between all our classes and neither of us can seem to wipe the ridiculous smiles from our faces.

In AP Chem we've always sat next to each other but never like this. We're in the last row and she's sitting right next to me with her leg against mine. It wouldn't be a big deal except she's wearing a short skirt again and she isn't crossing her legs. They're just _open._ I rest my hand atop her thigh and wonder if I we would get expelled for having sex on school grounds.

She places her hand on top of mine and holds it throughout the class. I yearn to move it a couple inches lower, to make her legs shake and her cheeks blush, but I don't.

Instead, I lean over and with heavy breaths against her ear, I whisper that she wouldn't be so cold if she wore pants.

She waits for me to lean back in my chair to cross her legs over my hand and leans toward me. "But I have you to keep me warm," she says with a mischievous smile and licks her lips. She wags her eyebrows at the tent I'm pitching in my jeans and I stifle a laugh.

She has this sweetness about her that completely contradicts her sexual side and I love it. There's no hiding, just the real her all the time. Which means one minute she's talking about going to a pumpkin patch and the next she's asking if I want to lose my virginity in her truck or her bed because she can't wait much longer.

I remind her it's only been three days, but she says the three months we pined after each other count and that when it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I don't argue with her logic, but I'm slightly terrified that I won't last more than thirty seconds. She claims to have a plan and I hope that whatever it is, it works.

"Isn't that your dad?" I ask as we pull into the shelter parking lot later that day and park next to a police cruiser. Thankfully when she drives I insist on sitting on my side of the bench seat so it's not like he can yell at me for touching her or anything. That's my other fear, her father is going to kill me for sleeping with his daughter. He has guns and I'm sure he could hide a body. I shiver thinking about it and jump out of the truck as soon as it stops moving.

Sure enough, Chief Swan is inside in the room with the dogs. He looks just like Bella did, crouched down in front of Blue's cage, except he's talking to him in a weird babyish goofy voice. "Who's a pretty boy? You's a pretty boy, Blue. You's such a pretty boy, aren't you? Yes you are!"

I clear my throat so he knows we're here and he quickly stands up and straightens his shirt.

"Bella! Hi, sweetie. I'm glad you're here. I got a message from one of the volunteers here about this fine dog here named Blue." He points to Blue and makes an excited face to him like most people do with babies. "And you young man. You must be Edward that I've heard so much about."

"Yes, Dad," Bella nervously says and drags me over to him. Turning to face me, she asks, "Did you do this?"

"Uh...yes. A couple weeks ago. I thought he'd be good at keeping you company and you seemed to really like each other," I say to her and reach out to shake the Chief's hand.

"You're one of Carlisle's boys, right?" He asks me as he squeezes my hand hard enough to make my fingertips go numb.

"Yes, sir." I answer as he looks me over.

"You must be the smart one, 'cause there's no way you're the football player I've heard is getting offers from colleges already."

"No, sir. That's Emmett."

He nods, leans in says out of the side of his mouth, "Football only gets you laid for a little while, but brains take you places." With a pat to my shoulder, he walks over to the kennel and kneels down in front of Blue again.

I look over at Bella, confused by the whole interaction, and to my surprise she's all smiles. "He likes you," she says with a wink and squeezes my hand as we walk over to join her dad.

I get Blue on a leash and let her dad walk him around the back to the large play area. Blue goes straight for the pile of leaves and dives in. Red, orange, and brown leaves go flying through the air like confetti as he runs laps through the pile. He is able to get Blue's attention long enough to have him sit and give his paw. I explain that he knows most basic commands but is eager to learn more. The three of us play with him for a few minutes before The Chief pulls Bella to the side. They walk over to me a minute later and he looks ready to cry.

"Where do we sign? This guy has to come home with us," he says as he leans down to scratch behind the ears of the luckiest dog in the world tonight.

"Right this way," I shake his hand excitedly and take him inside to fill out the paperwork. The best part is this isn't goodbye. I'll still get to see Blue all the time, unlike most of the dogs that get adopted.

"Dad asked me if I would be home enough to watch the dog when he's on duty and said he's glad I'm with you now and not your brother." Bella tells me as we walk hand in hand to clean the kennels after saying goodbye to the chief and his new best friend.

I squeeze her hand and look over at her as I ask, "Really?"

She nods excitedly. "I told him I'll be home more but that you'll be with me too and he seemed okay with that."

"Good. It's nice to know he doesn't want to shoot me for dating you," I say like I'm joking when in reality I'm dead serious.

She lets out a nervous laugh and swings our arms between us. "Well I think you're safe as long as he never catches us _hibernating_ ," she says with a wink.

"Seriously though, is it okay that I assumed you'll want to hang out at my house?" She asks and while it takes me a second to answer she explains, "You just never seemed to want to be at yours and so I thought…"

I squeeze her hand to stop her. "You thought right. I owe you an explanation as to why but don't want to make you feel uncomfortable around my mom."

Bella's forehead wrinkles in confusion and I try to explain. "I saw that the two of you got along pretty well and don't want you to think less of her. I'm sorry this is hard for me."

She pops up on her tiptoes, kisses my chin, and places her finger over my lips. "Tell me when you're ready. I don't need a reason to keep you all to myself," she says with a reassuring smile.

I dip my head to kiss her quick and say thank you against her lips. Her easy going acceptance endears her to me even more. No one has ever seemed to truly understand me, but she does. I can't help but look forward to our future together as we learn more about each other and share more experiences.

We wash up after finishing at the shelter an hour early, and I decide now is as good of a time as any. I'm excited and so nervous I could puke as I shut the truck door behind Bella and then get in my side.

"How about now?" We ask in unison and look at each other. My still sore from smiling cheeks blush at the thought and she smiles with a shy excitement that tells me she wants this just as much as I do. She turns off the highway onto a back road and parks the truck.

"Please stop looking so nervous. It will be amazing. I promise," she says as she pulls off her shirt and slips her underwear off from under her skirt. Sitting next to me after taking off her boots, she places one of her still socked feet on the seat next to herself, runs her hands down her thighs and starts pleasuring herself.

"You better hurry up and join me, Edward," she says with a deep sigh.

My shirt is off and I push my pants and boxers down faster than I thought possible. I stroke myself as she watches and can't believe the confidence and boldness she gives me.

I reach over and lift her skirt with my free hand to watch her fingers working herself. It's the sexiest thing I've ever seen and I almost come but hold back with a groan.

"Are you close, baby?" I nod yes and she moves to sit facing me. Leaning with her elbow on my thigh, she takes the tip between her lips, starts to suck, and massages my balls, all the while still fingering herself. She bobs her head in time with my hand, sending me to the point of no return in seconds.

My eyes roll back as I come, but she doesn't stop moving her mouth over me. The sensation is too much and I moan my frustration at wanting her to never stop and knowing I can't take it. With one final lick she sits up, kisses my cheek, and lies back on the seat.

Legs spread like an invitation, she slowly circles her clit with her middle finger. I waste no time leaning down to replace her finger with my tongue. She's even wetter than I remember and my fingers glide in to fill her without any resistance. Her sweetness coats my tongue like the most divine nectar that I could drink for days. Her breaths get increasingly louder and heavier, her legs are shaking and she's holding my face against herself.

"Fuck, yes!" she yells as she finds her own release. I kiss down her thighs as she catches her breath until she stops me by pushing my shoulders until I sit.

"Are you sure, Edward?" She asks lovingly as she opens the glove box and pulls out a condom.

"I've never been more sure," I answer in a deep lust-heavy voice, and I'm already hard again as she rolls it onto me.

Straddling my lap, she wraps her arms around my neck and our lips join. I can feel so much passion and want from her. It's like fire coursing through our veins.

"Please," she moans and lifts her hips just enough for me to reach between us to line us up.

She sinks down, taking all of me in with ease and I can't move. I've never felt such ultimate pleasure coursing through me. Together we watch where we're joined as she slowly lifts up and down. It's the most perfect torture. Holding onto her ass, I guide her over me as I move my hips with hers. Our chests rise and fall, the view nearly killing me. Bella places her hand between us, runs her fingers around the base of my dick and then begins circling her clit. She stills her hips and lets me take the lead, thrusting into her with abandon. It's so new and foreign to me, yet somehow feels perfectly natural.

Her breasts bounce against me, adding to the overwhelming sensations going through my body, and bringing me even closer.

"Come for me." I beg and give her all I can. I focus on her soft wet heat surrounding me and feel it tighten. Keeping from moving too fast, I kiss her earlobe and whisper, "Please, babe. Let me watch you come on my cock."

Kissing down her jaw and neck, I sit back to watch us again. She utters a hard, "fuck." And starts to move her hips in earnest as she stills mine with her hand. Frantically rubbing her clit, her movements become erratic and she lets out the sexiest murmurs I've ever heard. She tightens around me over and over and my restraint is gone. Snapped like a rubber band. I move her over me as I thrust into her and quickly find my own release. I come so hard I feel my abs flex under her hands as she kisses my jaw.

"That was..." I say, unable to find the right words.

"Amazing," she whispers, as she runs her hands through my hair.

"I think I love you," I say and squeeze my eyes shut in horror. What a dumb, cliche, stupid thing to tell her.

"Good," she says with a smile and leans in to kiss me with so much tenderness and love my eyes water, "I think I love you, too."

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Love,**

 **J**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! Thank you for reading. I apologize for taking so long.**

 **Huge thanks to lovelybrutal for betaing this for me so quickly and fixing my commas.**

 **Ipsita and RTP4ME preread for me and I sooo appreciate it.**

 **Thank you ladies!**

 **All things Twilight belong to SM. No copyright infringement intended.**

 **Shelter My Heart Chapter 2**

With one last kiss, we say goodnight and I walk up my front steps. It's like stepping out of a dream, back into reality. I feel like a different person. In a single day so much has changed and the home I've never felt myself in, feels even more foreign.

I wave to mom in the living room as I walk in and she yells out that dinner is in the fridge. She slurs her words, and like a shark that smells a drop of blood my focus shifts to her and I hate it. Choosing to ignore her, I go to my room and start my homework for the night. I have a book to finish reading, calculus, chemistry, and history to work on. I should've taken Bella up on her offer to study together but I was afraid I'd be too distracted by her and I have to keep my grades up if I'm ever going to get out of this house. A scholarship is my ticket back to the north east and out of here.

Shoving my door into my back, Emmett says through the tiny opening, "Let me in. Why do you still sit against your door? We aren't little kids anymore."

"No, but everyone still barges in here without knocking so I still try to keep some privacy," I grumble as I move my books out of the way so I can stand up and let him in.

"Oh! Sorry dude, were you jerkin' it? We can talk later," he says as he backs away. I open the door and he brushes past me into my room.

"What's up?" I ask as he sits bouncing on my bed. He usually just yells through my door. It's rare that he comes to talk to me unless he needs something.

"So you and Bella, huh?" He asks with a toothy grin and I can't tell if this is the calm before he pounds me into the ground or if he's genuinely happy.

I nod, push my glasses up, and try to swallow the lump in my throat. "I was going to talk to you, but it happened so fast, and she explained that you two were just good friends and…"

"Hey. Calm down. I ain't mad." His smile fades and he says seriously, "I'm happy for you both. She's a sweetheart and you two will be great together."

"Really?" I ask. I can't believe my ears.

He chuckles at me. "Yeah, man. She's way too fuckin' smart for me but you're into that stuff." He rubs his neck and looks around my room. "I'm not so sure you'll ever get much, um... _action_ though. She kept her legs together tighter than Fort Knox."

My brother came to warn me that she isn't _easy_ _._ I'm so tempted to tell him they were wide open when my face was between them an hour ago, but I don't. Instead, I stand up and start pacing, blush furiously and stutter. I can't think of a single thing to say to make this situation any better. I guess I can appreciate his concern, but it's disgusting and I have an overwhelming urge to throat punch him.

He starts to laugh like Jack Nicholson when he played The Joker and doubles over. Through his guffawing he says, "Nevermind. Clearly it isn't a problem for you if the mention of sex gets you that flustered." Wiping the tears from his eyes, he looks up at me and I take my shot.

I punch him right in his smug mouth with all I have. Unlike on television, there's no slow motion action shot of his tooth flying, only both of us screaming in pain as he grabs his jaw and I grab my hand.

"What the hell was that for?" He spits out as he slugs me in the gut, nearly making me puke.

Cradling my hand, I kick him in the shin as hard as I can. "Fuck off, Emmett. You don't know shit."

With a growl he uses during games, he charges at me. The air is slammed out of my lungs when my back hits the floor and I look up at him while gasping for breath. I knee him as hard as I can between the legs and he rolls off of me in the fetal position.

The sound of mom's stumbling footsteps coming up the stairs makes me want to scream. My family has managed to ruin the best day of my life in minutes.

"Is this about that slutty girl?" Mom asks, the smell of alcohol strong on her breath as she walks into my room, swaying and holding onto the door to stay standing. "I'll ground you both...before I let some chick..."

"Shut. Up." I pack my books up in my backpack with my good hand, and block out her drunken rambling about being my mother and how I have to respect her.

"Enough, ma! It's not like that. Bella and I were just friends. She's really special to Edward, alright? Drop it." Emmett says through his moaning and groaning as he tries to stand up.

"I'll be damned if some whore..." she slurs, not listening to what either of us has to say.

With a deep breath, I stand up and throw my bag on my shoulder. "Thanks, Em. Sorry for reacting like I did."

Patting me on the back he says gently, "Get Dad to look at your hand and tell Bella I said hi."

Mom tries to grab my arm as I walk past her, but thankfully I'm stronger and easily pull away.

I hear her crying to Emmett as I walk down stairs. _"Why does he hate me, Emmy_ _? He'll always love that fucking dog more than he ever loves me, won't he? That stupid mutt!"_

" _Go lay down, Mom."_ Is Emmett's practiced reply.

He waves to me from the top of the stairs and we share a look. The look of knowing this is our last year stuck in the same house as her. He has football and Rosie. I have the shelter and now Bella. Dad has the hospital. One way or another, we'll all get through this.

We used to beg Dad to leave her, but he said it would kill her. He told us when he married her it was for better or worse, and that he would never divorce her for struggling with alcohol. It wasn't just her struggle though. When she hit a car while driving drunk and killed a teenager, it became our burden as well. She got off without doing jail time because the teen driver was found to be partially at fault for driving at excessive speeds. I don't care what the court says, she should have been locked up. She should have been forced into rehab instead of just going to AA meetings, where Dad had to go with her or she'd sneak off to a bar.

Even when she could no longer drive to get booze she drank mouthwash and vanilla extract until she discovered mail order wineries and hasn't had a day sober since. Dad would take away all the credit cards, or I would pour it all down the drain, but through all our determination, she'd find a way.

She chose her path in life.

It simply wasn't her family.

The town we lived in hated her and thereby us, so Dad took a job across the country, where nobody knew our history. Where patients at the small town hospital couldn't refuse to be seen by him. The house had to be sold, and we lived in a roadside motel while everything was arranged. Our dog, Murphy, couldn't be with us. Mom swore up and down she'd find him a good home to stay at until we could pick him up, but I overheard her on the phone laughing about how gullible I was. He was dropped off at the shelter and she had no intention of going back for him. It was too much of a hassle, she had said. The little bit of respect and love I had left for her died that day. I set my heart on helping animals suffering because of people like her and getting out on my own.

I text Bella with my left hand. _Please com pic me up. I'll explsin._

To which she quickly replies. _I know it was amazing but we can't do it constantly._

I smile and almost cry. _I know. I ned help._

Within seconds, she calls and demands through a panicky rushed voice to know what's wrong and tells me her dad can be here in minutes if I need him.

I can start walking down our long driveway and hope she gets here before mom or dad come to find me, or her dad can be here in a minute.

My frustration and humiliation for for needing help refuses to be held back, and as I start to cry, I ask her to send her dad.

"Don't hang up. I'm calling him on the house phone right now," she explains and then asks if I'm hurt.

"Um...I hurt my hand but I'm not bleeding or anything."

I listen as she gives her dad directions and tells him to trust her.

"He'll be there in five minutes, Edward. What can I do? Tell me how to help you," she pleads, sounding so nervous and unsure.

I take a couple deep breaths and try to stop crying. My breath catches and shakes, making me even more embarrassed. I can't let her dad or even worse, Bella, see me like this. I shouldn't have called her. I should've locked myself in my room and blared music to drown out the sound of my mother and sucked it up like I always have.

I cough, clear my throat, and wipe my face. "I'm sorry for calling. I didn't mean to make you worry about me. I'll be fine."

I stand up from the rock at the end of my driveway where I've been waiting and start walking back to the house.

"Stop that right now. I want to be here for you. I want to be the person you call. Please let me help you, Edward. Please." She sounds desperate, as though this is life or death and I feel even more guilty for involving her. There are people with real problems who need someone like her. I'm just a kid with a drunk mom who can't seem to get over it.

"I'll be fine," I say and try to sound reassuring so she'll drop it. I turn back towards the road at the sound of a car approaching and realize I'm too late. Chief Swan just pulled into my driveway.

"You said you needed help and asked me to send my dad. Please come here and tell me what's going on, okay?" She sounds scared, like if she pushes too hard I'll walk away from her altogether and it kills me.

"Alright, he just pulled in. Thank you, Bella." I hang up and open the passenger door after debating if I should get in the back or not.

"Thank you, Chief Swan. I'm really, terribly sorry."

He waves his hand to stop my rambling. "Get in. Anything I need to know as an officer going on? Are you in any danger?"

"No, sir." I say as I place my bag on the floor and sit down. I buckle my seat belt and wince as I use my right hand.

"Let's get some ice on that and if it doesn't look good we'll get you to a doctor." I notice he doesn't say my dad which would make the most sense since he works at the only ER around. I don't ask though, I simply nod instead.

"Is your father or mother responsible for the injury?"

He's doing his job to make sure I'm not getting abused at home and I'm grateful that he cares, but feel so guilty for making him worry.. "No, sir. I am."

"Oh. So I should be asking if the other guy is okay and if they are pressing charges?" He turns to ask me as he stops at a stop sign. He's completely serious and nothing like the man I saw earlier playing with Blue.

"The other guy is my brother. He's fine and we worked things out," I tell him honestly.

He nods and says, "Good. Good to hear it."

He stays quiet for a couple moments, only tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the oldies music he has playing.

"It was about my daughter, wasn't it?" He asks, impatience clear in his voice as though it was the first thing he wanted to ask when he picked me up.

"Yes, sir. But it won't happen again. I promise." I can't tell him what we actually fought about. I can't. There's no way to tell him I slugged my brother for saying his daughter wasn't easy. No way.

"I believe you. I also know there are things you aren't telling me, but that's okay. Family can be tricky." He purses his lips and grabs onto the wheel with both hands. "You're always welcome at our home, Edward."

He must have looked up my parents. He knows about my mom and isn't telling me to get lost.

I bite the inside of my lip to keep from crying. I can't think of a time anyone was so kind to me. "Thank you very much, Chief Swan. I really appreciate it."

"Call me Charlie," he says and reaches over to pat my shoulder. "And I only have two rules," he says as we pull into his driveway.

"No funny business when I'm home and for God's sake use protection." His body shudders as though he's disgusted by the thought and he gets out of the car without another word.

I'm too shocked to reply and can't believe he didn't tell me to keep my hands off his daughter like I envision most fathers would.

I look up to see Bella kiss him on the cheek and start running toward the car. She opens my door and picks up my backpack. "Come on. Let's get in the house. Dad said I need to get ice for your hand."

Nodding, I follow her in without hesitation. She drops my bag next to the couch along side her own and directs me into the kitchen. She gets me an ice pack out of the freezer and wraps it in a tea towel before handing it to me. Her old fifties style metal chair scrapes against the linoleum floor as she drags it over to sit beside me.

"Can you move your fingers?" she asks, watching my face as I try to make a fist. With pursed lips, she brushes the hair out of my face and studies me.

"You had me so scared. I'm really glad you let my dad pick you up."

Keeping my head down, I adjust the ice on my hand and apologize. "I'm sorry for worrying you and inconveniencing your dad. You're both busy enough, with the new dog and everything."

"You mean, Blue, who ran through the house smelling everything, raced through the backyard and had been sleeping on his dog bed until you got here?" she says with a laugh. "He already fits in pretty well. Dad just took him out for a walk and for a ride to the station probably."

Knowing he is feeling at home already makes me smile. I couldn't have hoped for anything better.

Bella playfully bumps my knee with hers, forcing me back to reality. I awkwardly run my left hand through my hair and fix my glasses before turning to face her. "You want answers."

She nods but keeps her expression 's no anger or demand in her eyes, her shoulders aren't squared, she simply looks worried. "Maybe start with your hand," she gently suggests and places her hands on my forearm.

"Um. Well...I punched Emmett." I bounce my foot nervously and her mouth pops open. "He says 'hi' by the way. He misses hanging out with you."

"And so you hit him? That doesn't make any sense."

Looking around to make sure Charlie isn't listening, I take her hand with my free one. "Uh...thing is he's happy we're together actually, but wanted to warn me you don't...um…"

"Just spit it out, Edward," she says impatiently.

I squeeze my eyes shut tight. "Put out. He wanted to warn me you aren't easy and I lost it."

"Would you rather him call me a whore? What the fuck?" She asks and pulls her hand back from mine as though it hurt her to touch me.

"No! Of course not!" I turn to make sure she's looking at me. "You are so much more to me than that. You're smart, and kind, and funny, and to hear him talk about you like nothing more than someone to sleep with…" I exhale deeply, clenching my fist to feel the pain from hitting him. "I wanted to kill him."

"Oh," she says and looks at my purple, swollen hand.

"We both got a couple good shots in before my mother intervened, but we were fine when I left."

"Are you in trouble?" She asks and mumbles low, almost to herself, "She must hate me."

"If I am she won't remember by tomorrow anyway and her opinion means nothing. Less than nothing actually. Is there a word for that?" I ask as the anger I've been holding in creeps back to the forefront of my thoughts.

"What?" she asks.

"Is there a word for less than nothing? Not negative like in math, but in literature. There must be some adjective I can't think of."

"Obliterate or nonexistent, maybe. But that's not what I meant. Why won't she remember and why doesn't her opinion matter?"

She looks so confused and annoyed. Her parents are divorced but she has a great relationship with both of them and I guess she can't grasp the concept of not respecting your parents.

"Because she's a drunk to put it bluntly. She won't remember anything by tomorrow morning, she was too far gone when it happened."

"What do you mean?" She asks with a far off look in her eyes, like she's trying to remember every time she had seen my mother. I have no doubt that Bella never saw her without a drink in her hand.

"She usually hides it pretty well. Not from my family, but to everyone else it isn't as obvious that she is always drinking." I explain, remembering why I don't talk to my extended family who is always eager to take her side. Happy to make me out to be the attention seeker making up lies about his mother, all the while refusing to accept the truth.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks carefully. "I'm here to listen but if you'd rather go sit and get some homework done, it's fine with me." She brushes my hair back again and leans her cheek on my shoulder - not pushing, but patiently waiting.

"Thank you for being so gracious. I'll explain more but right now homework sounds pretty good," I tell her with a weak smile.

With a quick kiss to my cheek, she stands up and moves her chair back to the other side of the table and takes my uninjured hand in hers to lead me over to the couch. We sit side by side for a while as I finish reading Wuthering Heights and try to not think about what we did last time I was on this couch, the way her leggings are so tight I can almost see through them, or how she's twirling her hair between her fingers. How a book about such miserable, awful people is required reading will never make sense to me. I'm able to hold a pencil without too much pain, thankfully, and finish the book and the packet on it for class.

Bella is curled up in the corner of the couch reading Stephen King as I put my book away and pull out my History text. Some teachers are so uncreative. Outlining a chapter of a book every week sounds more like torture than learning.

"How are you done with all your work so fast? Are you a super genius?" I ask, frustrated that she's already done and I have hours left.

"Huh?" She closes her book with her finger inside to mark her place and looks up, glancing around the room like she forgets where she is.

"I asked how you were done already?"

"Right!" She nods as she remembers why she stopped reading in the first place. "I'm not. This is for my book report."

"You're kidding me." I say like I'm asking.

"Nope." She smiles like the smartass she is. "I wasn't going to read all those books so they can tell me exactly what they mean. I also took regular history when I heard they make you outline the book in AP."

I can't help but laugh. "You really are much smarter than me."

With a shrug, she goes back to intently reading _Misery_ and I turn back to my history book. We're not even touching, but simply sitting here with her, I feel better. I'm still thinking about my mom but just barely. She's pushed to the very edge of my thoughts now. Maybe it's because I know Bella cares enough to listen and won't make excuses for my mom, or maybe this is what it feels like to not be alone.

Technically I have Emmett but we don't really talk about how we feel or anything important. I spend the majority of my time at home locked in my room studying. This is all new to me and slightly terrifying. What if I'm not good at being her friend or boyfriend? What if I shouldn't even bother trying?

With a deep breath, I refocus on the book in front of me and start taking notes again. I force myself to finish the chapter through the throbbing in my hand and manage to finish up in time for Charlie to come home.

The door opens, and I turn my head to see Blue come in with Charlie in tow. His shoulders are square and he looks so proud to be in his harness. It's like he's a different dog already. Charlie unhooks the leash and the joyful pit mix bounds over to me and puts his head in my lap for a pat. It's never quite this smooth of a transition for dogs, but he must simply fit in perfectly.

"Hi, Dad. Did Blue do okay?" Bella asks and puts her book down.

"Okay? He did great! I couldn't believe how much he liked the car ride," he says like a proud father.

"Thank you again, Edward. He's amazing," Charlie says as he watches Blue move on from me to sniff at Bella before walking over to his bed and laying down. "I think he'll do quite well here."

"I agree, Sir. He looks like he really loves being with you."

Charlie gives me a half smile and sits on the recliner. "It's nearly ten o'clock you two. I see that you're still working but I think either you need to drive Edward home now, Bells, or you need to call your parents and let them know you're staying here if you don't feel safe going home, Edward."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how late it is. I'll call my dad to come get me," I ramble and try to find my phone in my bag.

"Calm down. No one is in trouble. How is that hand, by the way?" Charlie asks and motions for me to show him. I hold my hand out and make a fist a couple times, while trying not to wince from the pain of moving my stiff, swollen knuckles.

"It's sore, but I don't think anything is broken."

He nods and reaches over to pat Bella on the knee. "Go ahead and drive him home. Remember you aren't in Arizona anymore and you need to watch out for deer this time of year."

"You've been telling me about the deer for a month, dad. I swear it's impossible for me to forget."

"Good." He smiles a big toothy grin at her and she laughs at him. She grabs her coat and phone as I pack up my book bag.

"Thank you again for everything, sir. I truly appreciate it." I tell him and wish he could know how much his kindness means to me.

"This is your last warning. I let it slide once tonight." He looks at me sternly and I'm glad I've never done anything I could get arrested for. "Call me Charlie," he says with a smile and pats my shoulder.

We climb into her truck and I struggle to not drift off daydreaming about what we did earlier in this very place. I clear my throat, wipe the sweat off my palms onto my jeans, and look at Bella. Her cheeks are blushing and she's twirling her hair as though she's nervous.

"Thank you for everything, Bella. Just sitting with you helped me feel a lot better. I, uh, I'm not used to it."

"Not used to what?" she asks as she backs out of the driveway.

"Being around people, I guess. Especially not someone who is so understanding and caring."

She nods but her eyebrows furrow in a look of confusion. "So normally you would have just stayed at home miserable? You don't have friends you could hang out with?"

"Yeah. I would have locked myself in my room." She looks ready to cry as I rush to explain. "My mom doesn't beat me or anything like that. She's a drunk. She's just a drunk." I look out the window, unable to face her as I explain what a loser I am. "And no. I don't have any friends."

"Liar," Bella says flatly. I look over at her, unable to say a word. As she slows down at a stop sign she looks over, smiles, and says, "I'm your friend, Edward. I'd be willing to bet a lot of people at school consider you their friend, too."

Shaking my head and pursing my lips, I look down. She doesn't want to see what I know to be true, and chances are when she does, I'll be alone again.

"So you mentioned about not wanting me to think less of your mom earlier. Is it her being an alcoholic you thought would make me not like her?" she asks softly, as though she doesn't want to pry but can't handle not knowing.

I close my eyes and swallow. "No. That makes it sound like I felt you would be judgmental and I know you are much too kind for that." Adjusting my glasses, I look up and watch her as she drives. Her faces looks tense and unsure and I hate that I made her feel that way.

"Can you pull over at the end of my driveway so I can explain?" I ask, afraid she'll be too distracted to talk about it as she drives.

Once we stop, I find myself telling her everything. She holds my hands and doesn't say a word until I'm done explaining what my mom did and how we came to live here.

"I wish there was something I could say to make it better, Edward. I really do," she says with a crack to her voice like she might cry. Instead, she hugs me tight and doesn't let go. She lets me lean on her and I love having her support almost as much as I despise her pity.

"Having you to talk to is more than enough. Thank you, Bella." I hug her one last time and kiss her cheek as I sit back on my side of the truck.

"Let me drive you up to the house. Would it be okay if I pick you up for school tomorrow?" She asks, sounding so unlike the girl that was in this truck begging me to touch her mere hours ago.

"Of course." I nod. "But please don't look at me like you are now, like I'm someone to pity and feel sorry for. I'm not. I'm fine."

"I didn't mean to. I'm…"

I cut her off before she can continue. "You're sorry. I know. So am I that you had to see me this way." Why did I call her? I should have stayed in my room.

"Kiss me."

"Huh?" I look over at her and am even more confused.

"I'm still me and you're still you. Now I know more about who you are. I'm bound to need you to calm me down the next time I freak out about my mom or dad. I realize it's not the same thing, but we all make mistakes, as do our parents." She grabs my hoodie with both hands and pulls me close to her. "Nothing has changed about how I feel about you. Kiss me goodnight." Her smile is full of mischief and I can't help the way my lips turn up.

I reach forward with my left hand and cup her jaw as I close my eyes and join our lips. The hair on my neck and arms stands up, overwhelmed by her love for me. She isn't being chaste. She's pouring herself into it. Showing me that she's the same girl who straddled my lap and gave me a glimpse of heaven earlier.

I pull away, breathing heavily and needing to adjust myself, to which she smiles and simply says, "Goodnight, Edward. Text if you need me."

 _I always need you, that's what scares me most._ I think to myself but don't give voice to. Instead I nod and make my way up the front steps.

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **Love,**

 **J**


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